Relationships: The Key to the Top of the Mountain

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Nothing happens by chance, and it is clear that the desire for union with another person would not be an arbitrary element in our earthly journey. Beyond the obvious and basic function of reproduction and species survival, relationships offer us an incredible opportunity to see parts of ourselves that have not yet been integrated, emotions that need to be transmuted, and themes that still cause resistance in our souls. With this knowledge, we can manifest our dreams much more quickly.

Sex is nothing more than the desire for union, to become one flesh, beyond the pleasure and hormones released. Why do we choose to unite with some people and not others? Why do some people evoke an almost irresistible desire, while others are completely indifferent to our desires? Science explains this with pheromones, the chemistry that happens but cannot be seen. But in this case, what explains the lack of desire after a while, if the pheromones have not changed?

From a spiritual perspective, we attract and are attracted to people who have similar “traumas,” emotions, and repressed aspects, as well as complementary aspects that create the negative (feminine) – positive (masculine) polarity, which goes beyond sex and gender. This touches on deeper themes, such as the dominance of reactive or active energy, analytical or intuitive, competitive or collaborative, rational or emotional, among others.

Mirrors for What Is Hidden

Considering that the primary goal of every species is development and evolution, ensuring that future generations survive and also thrive, relationships are a way to ensure that, in this evolutionary process, psychological and emotional themes are addressed and improved so that the goal is achieved.

A relationship is an alchemical process where, through the interaction and engagement of two souls, it is possible to recognize generational pains and traumas that both carry in their ancestral line, so that they can be transmuted through unconditional love and, thus, not passed on to future generations.

Themes such as abuse of power, disrespect for boundaries, scarcity, prejudice, insecurity, violence, and the most basic human emotional wounds, such as rejection, abandonment, injustice, betrayal, and humiliation, come to the surface in relationships in various degrees of severity, depending on the level at which these themes have been shared throughout the family lineage.

Only through a conscious relationship, where both partners understand that the relationship is not only a space for pleasure and comfort but also a safe place to transmute through dialogue, respect, and presence, is it possible to reduce and even eliminate these themes that our species has been carrying for generations and create a new Earth.

“Don’t Shoot the Messenger”

With an approach focused on self-responsibility and self-observation, it is important to understand that the emotions that arise during the dynamics of your relationship are yours, and the other person is there merely with a flashlight, helping to illuminate something you were not yet aware of.

I like to use the 4 Laws of Mirrors for such situations:

Law 1 – Everything that bothers, irritates, or that I want to change in the other is within me and I do not accept it.

Law 2 – Everything that the other criticizes or judges in me that bothers me is repressed in me and needs to be loved unconditionally.

Law 3 – Everything I like or love in the other is also within me, sometimes without being perceived.

Law 4 – Everything the other criticizes, judges, or wants to change in me, but does not affect me, belongs to them.

With clarity on how these dynamics form in our relationships, it becomes much easier not to take things personally and to lead a lighter, more loving life.

Example 1:

Your partner complains that you are too emotional, ungrateful, and demanding of them.

If these aspects bother you, they are likely characteristics that exist within them and that they are repressing and projecting onto you. They probably did not have space for their emotions to be validated during childhood; after all, for generations, men were prohibited from crying and expressing any emotion other than anger and pride.

They likely did not have their basic needs, whether physical or emotional, validated and met, and were told by their parents or caregivers that they were asking too much and were ungrateful for it.

Throughout their life, they may have felt overly pressured by everyone and by themselves, never feeling good enough. Therefore, in any interaction where you ask something of them, they might recall all the pressure they had to endure throughout their life.

And here’s the point: if when they say you are too emotional, ungrateful, and demanding of them, it bothers you, you probably also experienced all of this in your childhood.

And this is what attracted both of you, so that through love, you can heal.

Example 2:

Your partner complains that you are absent, that you do not prioritize them, and that you do not meet their needs.

If this bothers them, these are likely aspects that exist within them and that they are repressing and projecting onto you. They probably did not have the presence and support of those who cared for them as a child and teenager.

They might not have felt prioritized by their parents during their growth and always had to prioritize others to feel loved and appreciated.

Their basic needs, whether physical or emotional, were probably not validated and met, and they do not know how to do this for themselves.

If you are bothered when they complain that you are absent, do not prioritize them, and do not meet their needs, you probably also experienced all of this in your childhood.

And this is what attracted both of you, so that through love, you can heal and evolve.

Two Is Better Than One

The process of expanding consciousness begins with the individual, and it is not possible to give something you have not received. Thus, to reach the level of being able to give unconditional love to someone else, you first need to learn to give unconditional love to yourself.

That’s why therapeutic tools that promote self-esteem, shadow integration, and inner child healing are so important. When you fill your own cup, it becomes much easier, simpler, and more pleasurable to overflow love to those around you, especially to your partner and future generations.

When we see the other as an extension of ourselves, we can offer them what we did not receive in childhood and adolescence, thus initiating a beautiful process of healing and ascension.

If your partner did not have freedom and felt forced to do things they didn’t want to, give them freedom.

If your partner does not feel good enough because they had extremely critical parents, give them validation.

If your partner had to repress their emotions, offer them a safe and respectful space to express them.

If your partner’s boundaries were not respected, respect their boundaries.

By understanding the other’s pains through dialogue and respect, it becomes much easier to conduct a relationship with love, forgiveness, and compassion.

The Other as a Window to Your Own Soul

When you love someone, you love a part of yourself and experience a love that goes beyond flesh and mind. You live a spiritual love where alchemy and magic become the new norm.

All of your chakras are activated and your level of pleasure is amplified.

The union of two conscious people is incredibly powerful and has a contagious effect on everyone around them.

To deepen the connection and intimacy with your partner, use our Reflective Cards. With over 180 questions, they are exactly what you need to transform your conversations and strengthen your bond!

They can also be used as a tool for self-knowledge to enhance your connection and intimacy with yourself.

Click here to learn more about the Reflective Cards.

Attraction by Polarity

As a couple, through expanding consciousness and love, heals past pains and traumas and integrates and transmutes previously repressed aspects and emotions, attraction begins to occur through polarity.

You are attracted to the other for what you do not have or have in lesser quantity from an energetic standpoint.

In experiencing life on Earth, we encounter separation and duality: Negative Pole (Yin) and Positive Pole (Yang). Everything is dual; thus, in a relationship, one person will have more energy of one pole, and the other will have more energy of the opposite pole, leading to attraction.

One person will be more receptive, while the other will be more active.

One person will be more creative, while the other will be more rational and analytical, and so on.

One person will be more feminine, while the other will be more masculine.

Same-sex couples are also subject to the Law of Polarity, even if they have bodies of the same sex.

It is crucial to note that each individual possesses duality within themselves.

Each individual has the freedom to choose which pole they want to embody within the relationship, but considering the biological body is highly relevant to this choice.

The female body is naturally benefited when a woman chooses to let her dominant energy be in the negative pole, with aspects of femininity and receptivity. The female reproductive organ was made to receive the male organ; the female body and hormones produced by it were designed to await gestation, and the female brain has evolved better for creativity and intuition.

Meanwhile, the male body is naturally benefited when a man chooses to let his dominant energy be in the positive pole, with aspects of masculinity and action. The male organ hardens, penetrates, and acts; the male body and hormones produced by it were made for muscle development, strength, protection, and provision, and the male brain evolved for problem-solving with reason and based on facts.

It is possible to observe that people who choose to go against the body’s biology and decide to have more dominance of the opposite energy face very detrimental effects on their physical, emotional, and mental health.

Men who consciously or unconsciously choose to maintain their dominant energy in the feminine pole often face issues such as addiction, sexual dysfunctions, weight gain, and depression.

Women who consciously or unconsciously choose to maintain their dominant energy in the masculine pole experience issues such as neuroses, anxiety, fertility problems, premature aging, and diseases of the sexual organs.

There is no right or wrong, only knowledge and what we choose to do with it.

My Before and After

Sharing a bit of my personal experience, I was a very masculine woman. Masculine women are often shaped by a society that makes us believe that men and women are the same and by lacking access to one of the most crucial aspects of being in the feminine pole: trust.

When you come from an ancestral lineage where trusting the world, others, and men is not prevalent and practiced, you are born and grow up understanding that you need to act, that you cannot rely on anyone, that you cannot trust anyone, that you need to be independent, that reality is a constant competition, and that your emotions and vulnerabilities are tools that will be used against you. You have no choice but to go to the masculine pole to survive in a masculine world.

I spent a significant part of my life living and manifesting my reality from the masculine pole, but the results always came with much exhaustion. I attracted feminine men who did not give me security, who wanted me to be a sort of mother to them, and I competed with masculine men. Although I was able to manifest my dreams, it was always through much effort, and when I achieved them, I could not relax, have fun, or enjoy. My feminine side was completely neglected.

If you are a man and somehow identified with this text, know that you might also have a forgotten feminine side. Remember that every individual has both aspects of duality, and if you repress one aspect within yourself, you will naturally face problems, especially in your relationships.

Once I reconnected with my feminine side, my life changed drastically. Life has become much more enjoyable, lighter, and fun; my creativity has increased exponentially, and I feel younger. People thing I am 10 years younger than my actual age, and my relationship with God has strengthened in a way I had never experienced before.

My relationship with men has also changed significantly. I am a repellent to feminine men; they cannot even get close to me, and masculine men treat me as the goddess that I am, wanting to care for me, meet my desires, protect me, and provide in my life.

But all of this is only possible because I learned to trust: to trust in God, to trust in myself, and to trust in others.

If you need support to balance your feminine and masculine energy and manifest your dreams faster, check out some of the experiences that will help you in this process here.

And leave your questions in the comments.