Your most authentic version will be hated

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It’s interesting—when we’re on this journey of healing, of becoming a better person, there’s an expectation that it will be all about peace, love, positivity, and rainbows, but that’s not quite the reality.

Imagine, you’ve spent your entire life being an inauthentic version of yourself, sacrificing and bending over backward to please everyone and seek connection and love from those around you.

Then one day, you begin your healing journey to become your most authentic self, embracing your shadows—everything that was repressed and unconscious, everything that was hidden away, lived in double or triple lives, far from the judgmental eyes of those people you spent your whole life trying to please to be loved.

Do you really think that those same people who were used to your inauthentic version, those people who loved the absence of boundaries you had, allowing them to drain all your energy for their own interests—those people who, however well-intentioned, loved you conditionally (meaning they only loved you as long as you said yes to them)—do you REALLY think they’re going to accept this change easily?

Of course not.

When we’ve spent our entire lives performing as the “nice girl” or the “good guy” to be loved and connect with others, when it comes time to heal and be more authentic, we often become the villain in many people’s stories. And perhaps that’s one of the hardest parts because humans crave connection, love, and relationships.

Since the beginning, we’ve lived in communities. The idea of being alone is terrifying for most people because, for a long time, living in a community meant survival.

Loneliness or solitude was synonymous with vulnerability, making you an easy prey for predators, which is why it’s so difficult.

But I don’t bring only bad news. The good side of all this is that when you have the courage to be yourself and manage to get through this transition—often feeling more like a war—and deal with the fact that, yes, you will be the villain in many people’s eyes.

When you embrace your new role and own it… right after the war, on the other side, you find an entire community of people who were just waiting for you to take your power back and to love you unconditionally.

Stay strong, because all courage is rewarded, and in the end, what matters is who stays. You are not alone.

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